MY FUCKING VIPER BROKE DOWN YESTERDAY AND I HAD TO GET THE MOTHERFUCKER TOWED! I WANTED TO FUCKING KILL EVERYONE LOOKING AT IT ON THE ROLLBACK BECAUSE I KNOW THEY HAD A SMARTASS COMMENT AND I COULDNT MAKE ONE BACK AT THEM..... THAT MOTHERFUCKER BROKE DOWN 4 MILES FROM MY HOUSE.... IT JUST CUT OFF! The fuse link burned through which is an indication that I have an electrical problem..... it burns apart so that my entire electric shit doesnt burn up.... its a safety thing.... so do you know what this means??? IT MEANS BREAK OUT MY FUCKING CHECKBOOK PONCHEROO!
FIRST as it cut off... i was pulling up to a little store by the house, so we pulled in there. The fucking older than dirt with one tooth fucker that works there thinks that miraculously he's a fucking mechanic and starts messing with the red piece on there and says, "whats this?" i said, its the fucking cut off switch that I would like for you to get off of. he keeps fucking with it and tells me to turn the key. I said, IT WONT FUCKING START BECAUSE YOU JUST CUT OFF THE ENTIRE CAR!!! ITS A FUCKING CUT OFF SWITCH FOR SECURITY!!!!!!!! so then my girl says.... "okay, lets shut the hood" and I said.. "yeah.... LETS!"
SO the rollback comes and picks it up and does a good job not scraping the front. as we are driving, I can read fuckers lips in their cars about my car up on the rollback and it pisses me off.... so when i get to the place that I took it... someone comes out of a store next door and says.... "wow, thats a pretty expensive car for it to be broke down".... this just about did it for me..... i said, "yeah?? well why dont you take your ass back inside before you really piss me off" and they went inside after giving me a look.... yeah well... FUCK YOU BUDDY!
so then the driver wants to just drop the fuckin car in front of the store and I ask the mechanic where he wants it, he says, around back so we can keep it inside.... (thank you, finally some respect for my baby). So I go to the driver and say nicely actually, "hey can you take it around back? he wants it to be back there" the rollback is actually all the way down and he is starting to release the chains, AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER SAYS TO ME..... "TELL HIM Y'ALL GONNA PUSH IT BACK THERE"..... this was it
i said, "PUT THE MOTHERFUCKIN CAR AROUND BACK RIGHT NOW, I'M NOT PUSHING THAT FUCKING THING AROUND BACK, IF YOU WANT YOUR MONEY YOU WILL PUT IT BACK THERE NOW!!!!!!!!!" and i guess sensing that i was a little pissed he put it back there.... meanwhile my girl is doing everything she can to keep me calm... we get it around back finally, send 'Antoine' the driver on his fuckin way and put the car inside. next i have to show the fucking retard how to open the hood!!!!!!!! i said, wash your hands before you touch my paint... dont want all that grease on there, and call my girl before you work on it, i want her to come up here and watch you. he says, that wont be necessary.... i said, it is absolutely necessary.... i know whats wrong with the car, and i want her to watch you, so that A. you dont fuck up, and B. you dont do more to try to charge me, because i know you all think we are loaded because we drive it and are gonna try to get me for everything we have. "oh we would never do that...." BULLSHIT MOTHERFUCKER I SEE IT ALL THE FUCKIN TIME! its already going to be expensive as a motherfucker, because it is expensive alone just to hook it up to a diagnostic
test..... anything electrical is going to cost money!!!!
eventually we get out of there and head to Damons to eat..... the waitress comes, and before she can finish asking for drinks.... my girl says.... 2 coronas and one shot of SOCO and Limejuice..... what a great girl i have.... just tryin to calm me down.... so that was nice and i started getting in a better mood, so we went and bought a 62" LCD Projection T.V. with a real nice Pioneer surround sound...... BUT THERE IS A HOLE IN MY GARAGE AND I'M PISSED.....
thanks for letting me vent....