First Date Questions For You Guys Who are WWWAAAYYYY Smarter Than Me

[dumbbellpress]

I have been on several 1st dates in the last 4 or 5 months from girls at my gym who have asked me out. Thank God for me having a 6 pack, and using AAS and being a very lean 6'1", 238lbs.

First let me state that I thought I had a handle on what makes women tick. I thought I had a pretty good idea of the dos and don'ts of dating, but I obviously I am a freaking idiot. I mean I am the biggest idiot on the planet.

1)I do not kiss on the first date. I give the girl a big, 15 second hug.This is not a problem most of the time.However, this has caused massive problems with 2 girls recently. The date was over, I gave them a big hug, and I told them I had a wonderful time. I released the hug. The 2 girls just stared at me, clearly waiting for something more than a hug. It was extremely awkward. I hugged them again and told them they were beautiful girls and very sweet, hoping this would be good enough. Clearly this was not good enough. One of them just reached out, grabbed me, and very passionately started kissing me, tonguing me, you know........I honestly did not know what to do. Should I have stuck to "my guns" and pushed her off and tell her I don't kiss on the first date, or did I do the right thing by throwing my beliefs right out the window and kissing her very passionately?? The other girl.......man it was awkward. She just looked at me and asked me why I didn't try to kiss her. I explained to her my first date rule. This wasn't good enough for her, she wanted a kiss right then and there. I was at a Mexican standoff. This time, I stuck to my guns, and very politely declined the first kiss. I told her I would love to see her again, and that we'll see what happens on the second date, Hopefully a kiss will be on the menu. She was disappointed, but a true sport, and so she gave me the opportunity for a second date. Let's just say we made out for quite awhile on the second date and she was very happy.

2)Every girl tries to refuse to choose the restaraunt we go to eat at. Since it is my treat, I am paying for everything, I absolutely insist that since she is my guest, she chooses the restaraunt. God, they play this stupid game where they laugh and pretend to get all embarassed and swear they cannot decide on a place. They say it doesn't matter to them, they will eat anything. And the girl and I go back and forth for like 5 minutes, me insisting she picks the place, and her refusing, telling me I must pick the place. I always win, of course, by saying something really silly such as "look here kiddo, if you do not choose the restaraunt, I am going to hold you down and tickle you". This always works, but God is it a pain in the ass. Just pick a restaraunt!!!

3)If she lives with her parents, she wants me to meet her Mom on the first date when .I drop her off after the date. Ummmmmm..............this is the first date, I barely know the girl, I don't want to meet her Mom just yet. Enough said.

4)I have a 48 hour rule before I call the girl back after the first date. I wait 48 hours before I call her after the first date. This has also caused massive problems. They say they thought I was not interested in them, did not find them attractive, that was the reason for me waiting 2 days to call them back. Argggghhhhh........Enough said once again.

Fellas, what is ya'lls opinions? I am so confused now when I date, I don't even know if I am doing the "right" thing or the "wrong" thing. And what is even worse is I have been getting progressively more confused over the last 12 or so years of my dating life because women seem to be getting more and more complicated. I am at a total loss, I just don't understand women.

[Ian Smith]

Originally Posted by dumbbellpress

I have been on several 1st dates in the last 4 or 5 months from girls at my gym who have asked me out. Thank God for me having a 6 pack, and using AAS and being a very lean 6'1", 238lbs.

First let me state that I thought I had a handle on what makes women tick. I thought I had a pretty good idea of the dos and don'ts of dating, but I obviously I am a freaking idiot. I mean I am the biggest idiot on the planet.

1)I do not kiss on the first date. I give the girl a big, 15 second hug.This is not a problem most of the time.However, this has caused massive problems with 2 girls recently. The date was over, I gave them a big hug, and I told them I had a wonderful time. I released the hug. The 2 girls just stared at me, clearly waiting for something more than a hug. It was extremely awkward. I hugged them again and told them they were beautiful girls and very sweet, hoping this would be good enough. Clearly this was not good enough. One of them just reached out, grabbed me, and very passionately started kissing me, tonguing me, you know........I honestly did not know what to do. Should I have stuck to "my guns" and pushed her off and tell her I don't kiss on the first date, or did I do the right thing by throwing my beliefs right out the window and kissing her very passionately?? The other girl.......man it was awkward. She just looked at me and asked me why I didn't try to kiss her. I explained to her my first date rule. This wasn't good enough for her, she wanted a kiss right then and there. I was at a Mexican standoff. This time, I stuck to my guns, and very politely declined the first kiss. I told her I would love to see her again, and that we'll see what happens on the second date, Hopefully a kiss will be on the menu. She was disappointed, but a true sport, and so she gave me the opportunity for a second date. Let's just say we made out for quite awhile on the second date and she was very happy.

2)Every girl tries to refuse to choose the restaraunt we go to eat at. Since it is my treat, I am paying for everything, I absolutely insist that since she is my guest, she chooses the restaraunt. God, they play this stupid game where they laugh and pretend to get all embarassed and swear they cannot decide on a place. They say it doesn't matter to them, they will eat anything. And the girl and I go back and forth for like 5 minutes, me insisting she picks the place, and her refusing, telling me I must pick the place. I always win, of course, by saying something really silly such as "look here kiddo, if you do not choose the restaraunt, I am going to hold you down and tickle you". This always works, but God is it a pain in the ass. Just pick a restaraunt!!!

3)If she lives with her parents, she wants me to meet her Mom on the first date when .I drop her off after the date. Ummmmmm..............this is the first date, I barely know the girl, I don't want to meet her Mom just yet. Enough said.

4)I have a 48 hour rule before I call the girl back after the first date. I wait 48 hours before I call her after the first date. This has also caused massive problems. They say they thought I was not interested in them, did not find them attractive, that was the reason for me waiting 2 days to call them back. Argggghhhhh........Enough said once again.

Fellas, what is ya'lls opinions? I am so confused now when I date, I don't even know if I am doing the "right" thing or the "wrong" thing. And what is even worse is I have been getting progressively more confused over the last 12 or so years of my dating life because women seem to be getting more and more complicated. I am at a total loss, I just don't understand women.

Rule 1: Fuck that, you arent a saint,,, kiss the bitch.

Rule 2: Have the shit planned out, begining to end. If there is extra time and something comes up cool.

Rulle 3: Dont be a wuss, meet her mom,, its not like she is asking you for a kidney.

Rule 4: Fuck Rules, if you want to call her then call her,, just dont do it when youre drunk and horny,, if your drunk and horny call her Mom. (See rule 3)

Hope this helps.

[sportsclub]

Having dated a couple of guys from the gym I use to go to I think I can give a little insite from the female perspective. First if you don't kiss on the first date for some specific reason or morality or whatever then that if your choice but if it is just a "rule" you decided to make up..it seems pretty silly. I don't know how old you are but if a chic wants to kiss you she usually makes it pretty obvious from the start that she's into you...or are you not able to tell?

Second woman are a little unnerved on the first date...sort of like being on a job interview, so dont take it personally and just be patient-- if things work out between the two of you she will probably be making most of the decisions for you anyway

Third meeting mom..well thats a little silly to bring up especially if she lives with her parents ..what would you like-- to honk your horn from the curb and have your date come running to your car?

And the 48 hour thing will bite you in the ass if it is a girl you are into...if you snooze you loose and most gyms are short of women and not men.

Just my 2 cents..which dont amount to much usually

[F_T_W]

Originally Posted by Ian Smith

Rule 1: Fuck that, you arent a saint,,, kiss the bitch.

Rule 2: Have the shit planned out, begining to end. If there is extra time and something comes up cool.

Rulle 3: Dont be a wuss, meet her mom,, its not like she is asking you for a kidney.

Rule 4: Fuck Rules, if you want to call her then call her,, just dont do it when youre drunk and horny,, if your drunk and horny call her Mom. (See rule 3)

Hope this helps.

LoL

Even a better idea, hook me up with her mom.

This chick must really like you to want for you to meet her mother. By the sounds of it she is looking for a long term relationship and not a one night stand so kiss her next time dufas.

Also NEVER EVER try and figure women out because just when you think your close to understanding them they change there entire game plan.

[agpando]

Originally Posted by dumbbellpress

I have been on several 1st dates in the last 4 or 5 months from girls at my gym who have asked me out. Thank God for me having a 6 pack, and using AAS and being a very lean 6'1", 238lbs.

First let me state that I thought I had a handle on what makes women tick. I thought I had a pretty good idea of the dos and don'ts of dating, but I obviously I am a freaking idiot. I mean I am the biggest idiot on the planet.

1)I do not kiss on the first date. I give the girl a big, 15 second hug.This is not a problem most of the time.However, this has caused massive problems with 2 girls recently. The date was over, I gave them a big hug, and I told them I had a wonderful time. I released the hug. The 2 girls just stared at me, clearly waiting for something more than a hug. It was extremely awkward. I hugged them again and told them they were beautiful girls and very sweet, hoping this would be good enough. Clearly this was not good enough. One of them just reached out, grabbed me, and very passionately started kissing me, tonguing me, you know........I honestly did not know what to do. Should I have stuck to "my guns" and pushed her off and tell her I don't kiss on the first date, or did I do the right thing by throwing my beliefs right out the window and kissing her very passionately?? The other girl.......man it was awkward. She just looked at me and asked me why I didn't try to kiss her. I explained to her my first date rule. This wasn't good enough for her, she wanted a kiss right then and there. I was at a Mexican standoff. This time, I stuck to my guns, and very politely declined the first kiss. I told her I would love to see her again, and that we'll see what happens on the second date, Hopefully a kiss will be on the menu. She was disappointed, but a true sport, and so she gave me the opportunity for a second date. Let's just say we made out for quite awhile on the second date and she was very happy.

2)Every girl tries to refuse to choose the restaraunt we go to eat at. Since it is my treat, I am paying for everything, I absolutely insist that since she is my guest, she chooses the restaraunt. God, they play this stupid game where they laugh and pretend to get all embarassed and swear they cannot decide on a place. They say it doesn't matter to them, they will eat anything. And the girl and I go back and forth for like 5 minutes, me insisting she picks the place, and her refusing, telling me I must pick the place. I always win, of course, by saying something really silly such as "look here kiddo, if you do not choose the restaraunt, I am going to hold you down and tickle you". This always works, but God is it a pain in the ass. Just pick a restaraunt!!!

3)If she lives with her parents, she wants me to meet her Mom on the first date when .I drop her off after the date. Ummmmmm..............this is the first date, I barely know the girl, I don't want to meet her Mom just yet. Enough said.

4)I have a 48 hour rule before I call the girl back after the first date. I wait 48 hours before I call her after the first date. This has also caused massive problems. They say they thought I was not interested in them, did not find them attractive, that was the reason for me waiting 2 days to call them back. Argggghhhhh........Enough said once again.

Fellas, what is ya'lls opinions? I am so confused now when I date, I don't even know if I am doing the "right" thing or the "wrong" thing. And what is even worse is I have been getting progressively more confused over the last 12 or so years of my dating life because women seem to be getting more and more complicated. I am at a total loss, I just don't understand women.

This is awesome haha! You're a bit older so you're more traditional.

1.) A 15 second hug will put you directly into the friend zone. No guy wants that position. If the chick is hot man and she is obviously wanting a kiss do it. Most rules don't apply anymore anyways.

2.) The restaurant thing is very typical of a girl. Find out what types of foods she likes then base YOUR decision off of that. You don't need to spend a ton of money on a first date, it's just the "interview" period as mentioned above.

3.) Nothing wrong with meeting the parents man. It actually may give you some good topics of conversation while staring at each other at dinner.

4.) Dude the 48 hour rule is ridiculous. Now if you are calling the girl the same night thats a bit much. I'm sure you know how to text, text the girl. Be like I had a great time tonight we should do this again. Especially if the chick is hot, other dudes wana swoop on her man and you can't let that happen.

Look dude if you go by your "rules" you'll never pull any girl. Throw those out the window. And remember nice guys always lose. now i don't mean to be an ignorant asshole, but you can't be all up in the girls shit and being all nice about everything. Joke around make fun but keep it harmless. And don't do it too often. And dude if the chick wants to kiss do it! I 3 second hug is more acceptable than a 15 bro haha. Any further questions let me know!

[dumbbellpress]

OK, wow. I think the 48 hour rule actually holds some merit. I mean I was always led to believe from my HS years (14 - 18 years ago) that if you call before 48 hrs, the girl is going to think you are a desparate loser who cannot find any other date and so now you are in the doghouse. I understand that 14-18 years is a LLLOOONNNGGG time, but I still think 48 hrs holds some merit. However, that being said, the fact that every single one of my friends uses the ""24"" hour rule instead of the ""48"" hour rule........maybe I am just incredibly fu_____ stubborn and refuse to switch to the 24 hour rule. I admit I am an extremely stubborn guy, I am a creature of habit.
I seriously seriously do not want to do it, but I think maybe, just maybe I'll modify my 48 hr rule into a 24 hr rule.

What is wrong with being a Christian guy, a gentleman who likes to take things slow? I will admit my 4 years at Texas A&M, from 18-22 years of age, I was a manwhore. I just couldn't help it. Texas A&M has the most beautiful girls on the planet. When I went to a dive bar, a non frat/sor party or a frat/sor party, I would always look for the hottest girl and throw my morals right out the window. I am not proud of how I acted while at A&M, I mean I was a manwhore. I had sex with so many outrageously GGOORRGGEEOOUUSS skinny/thin/slender (ie size 0, size 1, size 2) girls...........I was just a manwhore and I am very embarassed at my actions.

IMO there is nothing wrong with taking the very slow, Christian approach. I agree, assholes get the gorgeous girls 80% of the time, and nice guys get the gorgeous girls 20% of the time. Except I am not the "Typical nice guy" - I don't wear nerdy glasses, I don't talk about Dungeons and Dragons and (I am trying to be humble here, bear with me) I am a pretty big, powerful man. When I go to a dive bar, EVERY person (girl and guy) there wants to feel my calves, quads, bis and tris. So yes, I am a Nice guy, but not the prototype nice guy.

I am at this point in my life - 32 - that I just want to meet a beautiful young woman who is very, very, very, very, very very slender (size 00, size0, size1 or 2 etc..) and has a cute face. Not a gorgeous face, but a cute face. Gorgeous is just a BONUS.

I want her to respect me. I want her to know that sex is not the name of the game for me. Yeah, I know, I was a piece of shit prick at A&M when I was a manwhore. But I have changed 180 degrees since then. I do not want a Playboy-caliber girl that is going to f___ my brains out every single night for 4 months and then just dump me because she got a better offer. Nope, I will settle for the 8 out of 10 girl instead of the 10 because she will stay with me until the day I die.

And I have been trying to adjust along the fly my dating ""rules"" or whatever you wanna call them. But ya'll have certainly given me some great advice, and I appreciate every single one of your contributions and advice. Keep the advice coming fellas (and ladys) because I am the biggest dating idiot on the planet.

And one more thing. Nice guys don't always finish last. They finish last 80% of the time.

dumbbellpress

[Ian Smith]

Originally Posted by sportsclub

Having dated a couple of guys from the gym I use to go to I think I can give a little insite from the female perspective. First if you don't kiss on the first date for some specific reason or morality or whatever then that if your choice but if it is just a "rule" you decided to make up..it seems pretty silly. I don't know how old you are but if a chic wants to kiss you she usually makes it pretty obvious from the start that she's into you...or are you not able to tell?

Second woman are a little unnerved on the first date...sort of like being on a job interview, so dont take it personally and just be patient-- if things work out between the two of you she will probably be making most of the decisions for you anyway

Third meeting mom..well thats a little silly to bring up especially if she lives with her parents ..what would you like-- to honk your horn from the curb and have your date come running to your car?

And the 48 hour thing will bite you in the ass if it is a girl you are into...if you snooze you loose and most gyms are short of women and not men.

Just my 2 cents..which dont amount to much usually

I think Im in love. Whatsuh hapnin momma. Whats your sign,, come here often,, no that isnt a pencil in my pocket, OH, ya it is. MMMMMMMMMMMMM mamma.

See how easy it is DBP. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[Ian Smith]

Originally Posted by dumbbellpress

OK, wow. I think the 48 hour rule actually holds some merit. I mean I was always led to believe from my HS years (14 - 18 years ago) that if you call before 48 hrs, the girl is going to think you are a desparate loser who cannot find any other date and so now you are in the doghouse. I understand that 14-18 years is a LLLOOONNNGGG time, but I still think 48 hrs holds some merit. However, that being said, the fact that every single one of my friends uses the ""24"" hour rule instead of the ""48"" hour rule........maybe I am just incredibly fu_____ stubborn and refuse to switch to the 24 hour rule. I admit I am an extremely stubborn guy, I am a creature of habit.
I seriously seriously do not want to do it, but I think maybe, just maybe I'll modify my 48 hr rule into a 24 hr rule.

What is wrong with being a Christian guy, a gentleman who likes to take things slow? I will admit my 4 years at Texas A&M, from 18-22 years of age, I was a manwhore. I just couldn't help it. Texas A&M has the most beautiful girls on the planet. When I went to a dive bar, a non frat/sor party or a frat/sor party, I would always look for the hottest girl and throw my morals right out the window. I am not proud of how I acted while at A&M, I mean I was a manwhore. I had sex with so many outrageously GGOORRGGEEOOUUSS skinny/thin/slender (ie size 0, size 1, size 2) girls...........I was just a manwhore and I am very embarassed at my actions.

IMO there is nothing wrong with taking the very slow, Christian approach. I agree, assholes get the gorgeous girls 80% of the time, and nice guys get the gorgeous girls 20% of the time. Except I am not the "Typical nice guy" - I don't wear nerdy glasses, I don't talk about Dungeons and Dragons and (I am trying to be humble here, bear with me) I am a pretty big, powerful man. When I go to a dive bar, EVERY person (girl and guy) there wants to feel my calves, quads, bis and tris. So yes, I am a Nice guy, but not the prototype nice guy.

I am at this point in my life - 32 - that I just want to meet a beautiful young woman who is very, very, very, very, very very slender (size 00, size0, size1 or 2 etc..) and has a cute face. Not a gorgeous face, but a cute face. Gorgeous is just a BONUS.

I want her to respect me. I want her to know that sex is not the name of the game for me. Yeah, I know, I was a piece of shit prick at A&M when I was a manwhore. But I have changed 180 degrees since then. I do not want a Playboy-caliber girl that is going to f___ my brains out every single night for 4 months and then just dump me because she got a better offer. Nope, I will settle for the 8 out of 10 girl instead of the 10 because she will stay with me until the day I die.

And I have been trying to adjust along the fly my dating ""rules"" or whatever you wanna call them. But ya'll have certainly given me some great advice, and I appreciate every single one of your contributions and advice. Keep the advice coming fellas (and ladys) because I am the biggest dating idiot on the planet.

And one more thing. Nice guys don't always finish last. They finish last 80% of the time.

dumbbellpress

Nothing wrong with being respectful,,, but like someone else said, u snooze u loose. Just be yourself,, well, maybe not completely yourself. Dont yell at her if she orders something you dont like. J/k

[F_T_W]

Originally Posted by sportsclub

Having dated a couple of guys from the gym I use to go to I think I can give a little insite from the female perspective. First if you don't kiss on the first date for some specific reason or morality or whatever then that if your choice but if it is just a "rule" you decided to make up..it seems pretty silly. I don't know how old you are but if a chic wants to kiss you she usually makes it pretty obvious from the start that she's into you...or are you not able to tell?

Second woman are a little unnerved on the first date...sort of like being on a job interview, so dont take it personally and just be patient-- if things work out between the two of you she will probably be making most of the decisions for you anyway

Third meeting mom..well thats a little silly to bring up especially if she lives with her parents ..what would you like-- to honk your horn from the curb and have your date come running to your car?

And the 48 hour thing will bite you in the ass if it is a girl you are into...if you snooze you loose and most gyms are short of women and not men.

Just my 2 cents..which dont amount to much usually

LoL!

That is the truth, you pamper her too much and it may come back to haunt you. Yes I am P whooped but to me there is no better way to get whooped that I know of.

If she moves in faster than you would like and you shy away then there may not be a second chance at that opportunity. You best take advantage of it or there will be another guy out there that does. That is why is called getting lucky... Luck is nothing more than when opportunity meets preparation. If your not prepared to go for it when that opportunity comes around then you may have a long lonely night wondering "what if?"

Dont set such high standards and expect her to be something she is not, thats not fair to her and you would not want to be treated that same way either. Take it for what it is worth and then worry about how to get to point C after you reach point B. If it is a one night stand, fuk buddies or something more serious all you can do is take what you can get and then go from there.

[sportsclub]

Originally Posted by Ian Smith

I think Im in love. Whatsuh hapnin momma. Whats your sign,, come here often,, no that isnt a pencil in my pocket, OH, ya it is. MMMMMMMMMMMMM mamma.

See how easy it is DBP. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

That shit is funny!! I would laugh my ass off if a guy actually said that to me...and probably fall in love with him

[dennis]

Dumbell..I think you are doing everything just right.What you are doing will keep the girl guessing if you like her or not.The girl will sit around and think " what is wrong with me,why does he not like me " >? ....This makes you a "challenge" something all girls want.Find another believer too..this is important..d

[thick]

you are trying way too hard


1. 15 second hug is outrageous. Seriously after a couple of seconds she will be rolling her eyes wondering if you are gay. How about a short hug and kiss on the cheek?
If she wants more than you need to give her more and just make a mental note that she isn't a woman of your standards. BUT you have to kiss her or fuck a few of them just so they don't run around telling all of their friends you are gay BECAUSE one of her friends just might be the girl for you


2. You pick the restaurant. Find out what type of food she likes and just pick the appropriate one.

3. Meet the mom. Although i agree that sucks but it is the price you pay dating someone that lives with their parents. So meet the mom or pick a girl that doesnt live with their parents

4. Quit trying so damn hard. The harder you try the more fuck ups you will have and the more awkward everything will be. I am telling you a 15 second hug on a first date would be awkward as all holy hell. I can't emphasize enough how badly you need to castrate that part of your repertoire.

5. If you ever want kids then you need to lose the size 0,1,2 fantasy. Or you at least need to meet her damn mom to know if she has a chance at maintaining that size after kids. Find someone you gel with regardless of size.

6. That 48 hour rule is stupid. That only exists if you meet someone for the first time. Not after a first date. After a first date you need to call the next day if there is mutual interest.

7. Relax and quit trying so damn hard. Let shit fall into place and dont try being something you arent. As hard as it may be, u have to find someone that likes you for who you are. Not a jab at you b/c almost everyone is a fake on a first date. Including the women. Be yourself and weed through them faster
best of luck

[Phreezer]

Lol.. you're something else DBP..

Okay, best advice I can and ever will give you.

Relax.

Stop putting yourself and your evening in a box. Just sit back and see what unfolds. If something happens let it happen if it doesn't move on. Having these preconceived rules won't work for you. Dude, come on... You're in your 30's and it hasn't worked for you yet.. What makes you think it's going to start working all of a sudden?

Getting the first date is the easy part. It's the follow up work that requires work. And being strict and rigid to a set of guidelines and rules won't help you. Life just doesn't work like that. Oh and one more thing. Almost no chick (even when you're married) will pick the place to eat. That shit goes on forever. Just be decissive. Pick a spot you like and say I'd like to take you here. Boom, done. no problem. Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal (to quote 40yr old virgin)

Women make up 52% of the population. They're are more of them than of us. Stop worrying about what each one thinks so much. There are plenty of other chicks to replace her if things go wrong. that 48 hour rule is stupid too.. If you start a relationship playing games that's what your relationship will be based on.. games. And nobody wants that. If you like a girl give her a call the next day.. don't turn into mr psycho stalker boy.. but you can call and say hi.

Again, just relax man. Stop putting rigid guidelines on things and expecting specific outcomes.. They'll never come.

And the number one thing to remember is this...

No matter how beautiful and great you think a woman is.. somewhere there is a man who is sick of her bull shit.

Take care,

P