How to kick some punk's ass without legal trouble

[TheSpectre]

This mother fucker has been talking trash for months and running and I'm sick of it. Piece of shit and his brother jumped me, had one in choke begging for his life then the other piece of shit kicks me in the back of the heat with boots twice. I turn-around and get kicked in the jaw. Pretty much pansy asses because I was so drunk they couldn't even knock me off my feet hitting me 20+ times.

Ok, now I got the punk's girlfriend calling me talking trash!

What can a do to be not legally responsible for his injuries (I'm not gonna put his punk ass in the ICU or anything). Just a choke and a piss or spit in the face while he's down.

I'd have plenty upon plenty to back up my story.

How can I help start the fight making him throw the first punch or first move?

Thanks guys and I'm serious here.

[Desibaba]

Calm down.I know what it feels like but trust me.I have done that in the past and its not worth it.You beat them up you have legal troubles.Better ways to deal with it.Just see if you can screw their sister or girlfriend or something.

[Massive690]

just wear a ski mask when you jump them.

[TheSpectre]

What if I spit at him and say "Sorry bro didn't see you?" Spitting on someone doesn't allow you to hit the 'spitter' legally. They're life was not in danger.

[ImaBldr]

If his girlfriend is calling you, capture her # and post it here so we can all give her a call! I know it's not as satisfying as physical confrontation, but very little chance of it landing you in jail either.

[freak]

get a bunch of coupons from the inside of good house keeping magazines and other such women mags, then check the boxes "bill me later" and send them off for those damn plates, teddybears, and other such shit. You'll have to know his mailing address first, to fill out all the little cards.
that bitch will get shit for the next fucking year, and will never figure out why he keeps getting bills and dumb ass plates in the mail.

[thick]

if u spit on him than u would be at fault. Get some pleasure out of knowing that they are punks and have no life. Really u will never win with guys like that. So what if u kick his ass. Next week your car gets keyed or windows get busted. What do u do than? Neverending so at some point u must walk away knowing they are trash

[bigdrake]

Originally Posted by freak

get a bunch of coupons from the inside of good house keeping magazines and other such women mags, then check the boxes "bill me later" and send them off for those damn plates, teddybears, and other such shit. You'll have to know his mailing address first, to fill out all the little cards.
that bitch will get shit for the next fucking year, and will never figure out why he keeps getting bills and dumb ass plates in the mail.

Porn mags are better! Not that i've ever done that before!

[Grizzly]

That was some good advice, thick. Must come from being so old and wizened.

Also, as thick touched up, spitting on someone is assault. You'll get arrested either way. I threw cold coffee on a guy and got arrested for battery.

[RobbieH02879]

Take him down,mount him,then just proceed to taunt him. lol

Spectre,

Prank call him at all hours. Send pizzas to his house- you can do it all online now. Send magazine subscriptions to him. There are plenty of ways to create havoc for him.

K-

Originally Posted by TheSpectre

This mother fucker has been talking trash for months and running and I'm sick of it. Piece of shit and his brother jumped me, had one in choke begging for his life then the other piece of shit kicks me in the back of the heat with boots twice. I turn-around and get kicked in the jaw. Pretty much pansy asses because I was so drunk they couldn't even knock me off my feet hitting me 20+ times.

Ok, now I got the punk's girlfriend calling me talking trash!

What can a do to be not legally responsible for his injuries (I'm not gonna put his punk ass in the ICU or anything). Just a choke and a piss or spit in the face while he's down.

I'd have plenty upon plenty to back up my story.

How can I help start the fight making him throw the first punch or first move?

Thanks guys and I'm serious here.

[Mark Kerr]

Spitting on someone isn’t an assault; it is a battery (since a harmful or offensive contact was made.)

This is really tricky ground (as there is no bright-line rule) but the best thing would be to call his GF non-racial names in his presence.

But make sure you don’t consent or invite a fight by saying, "Do something about this," "come over here and fight me then punk," or "I'll even let you have the first punch." Etc.

Then get into his face, but in an obviously non-threatening way. Just sort of stand too close. Make sure there is no way he would be reasonable in believing you were going to harm him.

Hell, I think the best thing to do is to call his GF names, and try to get her to hit you. Girls usually make contact way before guys do. Then file criminal charges and civil charges.

However, this is very stupid, and it has a good chance of backfiring.

This is purely hypothetical and I do not recommend this. It was for entertainment purposes only.

[Mark Kerr]

Another way is to get your GF to get in his way and start calling him names. If he so much as touches her, in any way, even just a grab by the arm, etc, then you have pretty much free reign in Texas, as long as it isn’t an unreasonable amount of force. Plus, you have a civil cause of action.

I would not do this, because if it came out in court that you were planning this, it would not look good for you. And honestly, I have never read a case that involved these facts, so I don’t know how the judge/jury would decide.

I would rather have a civil action against this guy than a criminal one. He will get a misdemeanor and pay a fine, unless he totally beats you to within an inch from your life. With a civil action, it is money in your pocket, my friend.

P.S. Why not do the easy thing and just avoid this person altogether? Is the kind of person that would fight you man-to-man in a secluded area where no cops could see? Like a backyard, for example, or a garage? Would he consent to a fight, thus eliminating any civil action on his part? Would be run to the police if he lost a fair fight?

Also, consult some practicing attorneys here, like BigKarch. I have very limited knowledge of such a hypothetical, but he might know. This is indeed a weird case...sounds like a law school exam question. LOL.

[Mark Kerr]

Also, if you ask BigKarch, ask this in the form of a hypothetical. Dont tell him you are planning this, as attorneys are not allowed to consult you on ways to break the law (or get around it in order to commit a quasi-legal act).

Just a little FYI.

[TheSpectre]

Originally Posted by Mark Kerr

Another way is to get your GF to get in his way and start calling him names. If he so much as touches her, in any way, even just a grab by the arm, etc, then you have pretty much free reign in Texas, as long as it isn’t an unreasonable amount of force. Plus, you have a civil cause of action.

I would not do this, because if it came out in court that you were planning this, it would not look good for you. And honestly, I have never read a case that involved these facts, so I don’t know how the judge/jury would decide.

I would rather have a civil action against this guy than a criminal one. He will get a misdemeanor and pay a fine, unless he totally beats you to within an inch from your life. With a civil action, it is money in your pocket, my friend.

P.S. Why not do the easy thing and just avoid this person altogether? Is the kind of person that would fight you man-to-man in a secluded area where no cops could see? Like a backyard, for example, or a garage? Would he consent to a fight, thus eliminating any civil action on his part? Would be run to the police if he lost a fair fight?

Also, consult some practicing attorneys here, like BigKarch. I have very limited knowledge of such a hypothetical, but he might know. This is indeed a weird case...sounds like a law school exam question. LOL.

That was my plan get him to start fighting one of my friends (a smaller guy perhaps), then step in and ground & pounds his as while he admits he is a pussyl

No this ass clown talks trash everywhere I am not and his girlfriend is even worse. They never fight fair. They showed up at my buddy's party a while back -- I was out of town. 15 or 16 on 7 drunk friends of mine. And their punk ass dad actually knocked out the owner of the house while he was just sitting there asking them to leave.

If I see him at a party or something I could tell the owner to tell him to leave or he will get his as kicked.

Thanks for all the advice guys, but if/when SEE THIS FUCKER HE'S GOING DOWN AND BEGGING FOR MERCY.

Oh yeah forgot to mention that his UNDERAGE girlfriend talks more trash than he does.

I live in a pretty small town. And I figure if I keep along with my friends talking trash about this little punk as bitch about how much of a pussy he is he'll have to fight eventually. Too bad his dumb ass knows little about fighting and just throws punches. I'll wait for the first flinch, double leg take down then either ground and pound or choke him out while I break his nose.