I almost did this----

[taser]

i've been wanting to bang Paris Hilton for a few years. when i found out she was in jail,the first thing i thought about doing was going to LA ,dressing like a woman and kicking some cop in the nuts so i would be arrested and sent to the same jail as Paris where i can molest her for a few days.the plan was scratched when i realized the jail would perform a cavity search prior to me being placed in lock up. also,i would have a difficult time explaining my 5:00 shadow.

[perseverance]

you also might have a hard time explaining that whole situation to your wife as well. "Honey, where the hell have you been for the last 3 months?" "Baby, have i got a story for you!"