jokes

[STNCLD]

A man and his wife were fighting a lot so she suggest they go to a marriage counselor. The husband agree's
-The Dr. says, "Lets start off by talking about what the two of you have in common."
-The husband replies,"Well neither one of us sucks dick!"


BWAHAHAHA

[thick]

lol he shouldve read the should i marry this girl thread b4 saying I do.

Originally Posted by STNCLD

A man and his wife were fighting a lot so she suggest they go to a marriage counselor. The husband agree's
-The Dr. says, "Lets start off by talking about what the two of you have in common."
-The husband replies,"Well neither one of us sucks dick!"


BWAHAHAHA

[crunch76]

why do women fake orgasms?
they think we care

[Buff Diddy]

What do women and condoms have in common?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

[crunch76]

Originally Posted by Buff Diddy

What do women and condoms have in common?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

lol thats good

[MINX]

Whats 20 foot long and smells like piss???


























































Line Dancing in an old folks home.....

[Buff Diddy]

What do Micheal Jackson and a Big Mac have in common.
Both are 40 year old meat between 10 year old buns.

[GRANVILLE]

Originally Posted by Buff Diddy

What do Micheal Jackson and a Big Mac have in common.
Both are 40 year old meat between 10 year old buns.

Whats brown and lingers in kids pants??




Micheal Jacksons hand

[Buff Diddy]

Good one...Here's one more...

What's the differenence between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, made out of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

[Kelly Slater]

since we're on MJ jokes, here's a good one I heard.

What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me sir, your in my Son"

Peace...kelly

[Buff Diddy]

Yeah I just can't get enough MJ jokes. I'm going to get it out of my system and post a couple more. Last one's I promise...

Q: Who does micheal jackson consider a perfect "10"?
A: Two five year olds.

Q: Why did micheal jackson go shopping at wal-mart?
A: He heard boys pants were half off.

Q: How does micheal jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.

Q: What's black and comes in little white cans?
A: Micheal Jackson.

Enjoy!

[betterthanu]

My 78 year old grandfather told me this one, so it's funnier coming from him:

The state wrestling finals are coming up and chip's (the wrestler)coach, comes up to him and starts to get him pumped up. He says, you can do it, you can beat this guy, but one thing you can't let him do is get you in the pretzel hold. IF you get put in the pretzel hold you are finished. This guy is 45-0 with the pretzel hold, so whatever you fucking do, do not let him get this hold on you. So, just as the match is about to start, the coach gives him one more pep-talk and reminds him, pretzel hold means the end. Chip walks out onto the matt and the match starts. He's doing great with reversals and is doing pretty well in the match, and by the end he is sure to win. His coach is on the sidelines with about 45 seconds to go and he's jumping up and down because chip is up by so many points he has to win. The coach is screaming i can't believe it, he's going to do it, and all of the sudden, chip is in the pretzel hold. The coach is screaming get out, get out, but he can't. Just as the coach is about to give up, all the sudden the two of them jump up six feet straight in the air, chip flips on top of the other wrestler and comes down on top of him. the fall knocks the wind out of the other wrestler, and chip pins him. the crowd and the coach go apeshit and the coach runs out and screams how did you do it, how did you do it??? Chip says well, when he had me in the pretzel hold i thought i was done for sure, my body was so twisted up, i was about to tap out when all of the sudden, i look up and i see a huge pair of balls right in front of my face. So, I did what any man in my situation would have done, i looked up, and took a huge fucking bite out of them. And the coach says wow that's how you beat him huh, by biting balls huh???? Well, I guess you do what you have to do huh??? And chip replies.....Yeah, you would be surprised how high you can jump when you bite your own balls.........


funnier in person, especially coming from my grandfather.lol.

[Turbo1]

Thats a good one. Jokes are always funnier coming from old men.

Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men?












He thought it was an escort service

[Buff Diddy]

Micheal Jackson and Woody Allen on child physchology:
"Spare the rod, and spoil the child."

What's Micheal Jackson's next movie?
Honey I Blew the Kid!

How can you tell Micheal Jackson is throwing a party?
By all the big wheels in the driveway.

How do we know Micheal Jackson is guilty?
Several children have fingered him.

Whats black and comes in little white cans?
Micheal Jackson.

[thick]

lmao, that was good

Originally Posted by betterthanu

My 78 year old grandfather told me this one, so it's funnier coming from him:

d the coach says wow that's how you beat him huh, by biting balls huh???? Well, I guess you do what you have to do huh??? And chip replies.....Yeah, you would be surprised how high you can jump when you bite your own balls.........


funnier in person, especially coming from my grandfather.lol.