jokes for today ...

[esco]

senility

Ben and Haley had gotten up in years, and their memories weren't quite what they used to be. They found it beneficial to write things down so as not to forget them.

One evening they were sitting in the parlor and Haley said, "Ben, be a dear and go to the kitchen and fix me a dish of ice cream and put some chocolate syrup and peanuts on it. And, Ben, write it down so you don't forget the peanuts."

"That's a good idea, Dear." Ben said, and wrote it on the notepad and headed for the kitchen.

Ben was in the kitchen for a while, and returned with a plate of bacon and eggs. Haley looked at it and said, "Oh Ben, you forgot the breakfast toast."

[thick]

lol ok i will have to dig something up now

[esco]

Impossible Story

Stanley, an 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The
doctor asks him how he's feeling.

"I've never been better," he replies. "I've got a twenty-two-
year-old bride who's pregnant with my child! What do you think
about that?"

The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, "Well, let
me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He
never misses a season. But, one day he's in a bit of a hurry
and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So
he's walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a
beaver in some brush in front of him? He raises up his
umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle...

*BAM* The beaver drops dead in front of him."

"That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief, "Someone
else must have shot that beaver."

"EXACTLY!"

[thick]

lol esco, that one has been on here a long time ago but it is pretty damn funny

[NEU]

Originally Posted by esco

senility

Ben and Haley had gotten up in years, and their memories weren't quite what they used to be. They found it beneficial to write things down so as not to forget them.

One evening they were sitting in the parlor and Haley said, "Ben, be a dear and go to the kitchen and fix me a dish of ice cream and put some chocolate syrup and peanuts on it. And, Ben, write it down so you don't forget the peanuts."

"That's a good idea, Dear." Ben said, and wrote it on the notepad and headed for the kitchen.

Ben was in the kitchen for a while, and returned with a plate of bacon and eggs. Haley looked at it and said, "Oh Ben, you forgot the breakfast toast."

[thick]

lmfao that is the best joke of all hehe

Originally Posted by NEU