teaching your Son

[juggernaught]

What are some of your guys thoughts on what is the most important thing to teach your son about being a man?I have two boys my oldest is turning 12 next week and its made me think about the things I have showed him throughout his life .I also have a 8 year old step son that i want to make sure has abetter rolemodel then hes has had at times from his biological dad.
So what do you think the most important aspects of being a man are and better yet how do you put it into words???

[prodigy06]

self respect. Let them know who they are and where the came from, set high standards. I think lots of kids have no sense of indenity so they get influenced by other kids / people. Teach them to be their own person. Lead by example.

[Reinheart]

+1 to what prodigy said, plus, make them wanna read and study. Not bullies like, you know, the intelligent way. The more someone knows from a young age the less he suffers as he grows up.

Make them smart and open minded, let them make a few decisions and reward them with trust and respect if they do the right thing, otherwise let them learn from their mistakes.

[Drea'An]

Never let a S.O.B. take advantage of you! Stand your ground, don't back down from anyone unless they have the draw on you.(GUN) LOL Respect women, even the sluts and whores, their all GOD's gift to man. Get a trade or a profession, maybe two and stay with it. Save some loot. Develop a healthy lifestyle. When you guys get married, honor your wife and protect your families.

[juggernaught]

all good answers ! those are some of the traits i have been trying to instill in them.
any more?

[twistdenigma]

Originally Posted by prodigy06

Lead by example.

Best advice right there imo.

[Barbender]

Hey Juggernaut, nice to see someone taking such an interest in their son's well being. That can only mean good things. I live on the west coast of Canada and it is the most left wing socialist place on earth. It is tough raising a son here because the message in schools is so confusing for a young boy (dont fight, nobody looses everyone wins, guns are evil blah blah blah). Basically I have tried to teach my son what it means to be a man. Basically live with honor, accept responsibility for your actions, always stand up for what you believe in, dont get pushed around be respectful of others etc. I also spend a great deal of time with my son hunting and fishing teaching him life in the outdoors. I am always surprised at how few dads these days actually take time to show their sons that stuff. It is a great way to learn important life lessons. I also try to filter out some of the crap he hears at school and on the play ground. Every kid is different however simply spending quality time with a young boy is the most important thing you can do.

[dennis]

I will most likely be scorned for this one but i think you need to make sure the boys are going to a good christian based church and involved in their youth program.Spend as much time with them as possible..teach them what it means to be honest.Keep them active in sports or something worthwhile,let them see you treat women with the upmost respect.And oh yeah..teach them how to bench press properly...d

[juggernaught]

very good Denis yeah I try to keep them involved in sports and of course they are learning how to do comp benches

[Dinitro]

Good question. I have a special-needs son, so the standard concepts of masculinity often exclude him. This has caused me to re-evaluate many of my own ideas, given that I'm a very large, solid guy. I think what's important to teach him is that the inner life of a man can actually be pretty amazing: we don't have to limit ourselves to simplistic tough-guy posturing. Being contemplative, creative, and unconventional can be valuable, but endangered, traits of men.

I like what one author said in the book "I don't want to talk about it" (about men and depression): boys aren't hoping for fathers who will reinforce the traditional forms of masculinity. Boys are looking for fathers who can help them escape them.

Without rejecting "real man" life for "touchy-feely mr. sensitive" stuff, I actually believe that's true.

[thick]

Live life like you are on camera and treat others like you wish to be treated. Oldies but sound advice. Also be humble and thankful for the good things. Dont focus on the bad. You break your arm and there is someone else that broke their neck etc

[niko]

Make sure they know how to use their donkeys. my son knows that when you use your donkey really well, there's a good chance she will tell her friends. Then all of her friends will want to play with your donkey too! and so on.....

[juggernaught]

my boys are a little young for that lol

[rob6969]

Make a list of 10 of your most important values, whatever they may be....respect, courage, integrity, responsibility ,whatever.... DEFINE that word... what is means to you.... post that on refrigerator or whereever visible... talk to your kids about what each word means and how to LIVE that word, pick one a week and talk about as a family... Ask... did you do anything respectful today, ? If you found someones wallet what would you do ? Etc etc
. .
Problem with kids as I see it these days is we as parents think we're to busy to guide our kids.

Just my 2 cents... Good luck!!

[juggernaught]

thats an excellent one Rob, thank you