Top Ten Ways to Convince a Cop You Deserve a Ticket

[Turf Toes]

Top Ten Ways to Convince a cop you deserve a ticket:

1. Ask the officer to hold your beer while you get your license out of your wallet.

2. Roll your window down only one inch, push your license through mail-slot fashion, and tell the officer to speak louder.

3. Stop at the edge of the lane, leaving him exactly one foot of shoulder to stand on.

4. Leave your heavily tinted front window all the way up when the officer approaches, and lower the window only after he raps on the glass. When you lower the window, make sure your stereo system is set to the loudest, and that it is playing something like "Fuck the Police". Laugh when the sound blast knocks him backward.

5. Before he says the first word, ask him, "What's the problem?"

6. Argue with him - tell him you couldn't have been speeding because you had the cruise control on.

7. Ask him how he picked you out of all the crowd of speeders around you.

8. Tell him you pay his salary.

9. Tell him you know his boss, the governor, the mayor, or some other prominent person.

10. Rummage through your glove box for five full minutes, while the officer stands waiting in pouring rain.

[MJM]

LMAO I like those.

[Turf Toes]

Top Ways to Convince a Cop You Deserve a Ticket "continued"


11. "I couldn't have been doing 70! My cars shimmies at 64!"

12. Have your radar detector prominently placed on your dash.

13. Forget to set your emergency brake in your stick shift car, while stopped on a hill.

14. Cry

15. As soon as the officer greets you and asks for your license, pull out your cell phone, call 911, and ask to speak to Internal Affairs.

16. Tell the officer that you happen to be a traffic attorney, and he doesn't have the balls to cite you.

17. Tell the officer, "Oooo, I just love the tall motorcycle boots. They're soooo butch".

18. "I don't have any doughnuts, why did you pull ME over?"

19. Can't think of anymore.

[cinnabar8521]

I think I'm going to # 18

[EatNphood]

Nice...

[esco]

15 & 18 are classic!

[dolfe1]

Originally Posted by Turf Toes

17. Tell the officer, "Oooo, I just love the tall motorcycle boots. They're soooo butch".

Yea, "killer boots man!"

[Meat Train]

20. Give him a donut adding,"Here you go, you went through all that trouble for this."

21. Ask him to check your oil before he talks to you

22. Start fresh with a momma joke

23. Get out of the car and urinate on the side of the road, urging him to talk to you while doing this.

24. Give him an earlier ticket you got and ask him to explain it.

25. Take out a dildo and eye the cop saying," Now I am sure there is some agreement we can make."

[madman]

Originally Posted by Meat Train

20. Give him a donut adding,"Here you go, you went through all that trouble for this."

21. Ask him to check your oil before he talks to you

22. Start fresh with a momma joke

23. Get out of the car and urinate on the side of the road, urging him to talk to you while doing this.

24. Give him an earlier ticket you got and ask him to explain it.

25. Take out a dildo and eye the cop saying," Now I am sure there is some agreement we can make."

I would shoot someone if I was a cop for using #25