where's the jokes? check inside...

[Chip Bronson]

a couple attending an art exhibition at the national gallery was
staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
the painting depicted three very black, totally naked men sitting on a
bench. two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle
had a pink penis.

the curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble
interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.
he went on for nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the
sexual emasculation of african-americans in a predominantly
white,patriarchal society. "in fact," he pointed out, "some serious art
critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and
sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary
society."
after the curator left, an irishman approached the couple and said,
"would you like to know what the painting is really about?"
"now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of
the gallery?" asked the couple. "because i'm the guy who painted it," he
replied. "in fact, there are no african-americans depicted at all.
they're just three irish coal-miners. the guy in the middle went home
for lunch."

[big louie]

heee haaa !!! lol...

[cutup]

Thats funny!

[STNCLD]

HAHAHA good one Chipper, you poundcake queen you.



Poundcake queen = homosexual male who becomes sexually excited from being deficated upon

[Chip Bronson]

dear tide,

i'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! i've used it all throughout my married life, as mom always told me it was the best! now
that i am in my forties, i find it even better!

in fact, about a month ago, i spilled some red wine on my new white shirt. my inconsiderate and uncaring wife started to berate me about how clumsy i was, how i smelled bad and that i was generally becoming a pain in the neck. well, one thing led to another... and somehow i ended up with a lot of her blood on my white shirt. i tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. after a quick trip to the supermarket, i purchased a bottle of liquid tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came right out! in fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the dna tests on my shirt were negative and then my attorney called and said that i would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my wife!!!

what a relief! going through medopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! i thank you, once again, for having such a great product. well, got to go. i have to write a letter to the hefty bag people...

[Chip Bronson]

watch it. i can get a bag large enough for you too, you know. i have connections withe hefty bag folks... lol... now i'm just gonna have to write a little poem for ya stncld my brutha...

Originally Posted by STNCLD

HAHAHA good one Chipper, you poundcake queen you.



Poundcake queen = homosexual male who becomes sexually excited from being deficated upon

[esco]

good ones goumba!

[Chip Bronson]

so glad you likee esco-roll.... here's another breakfast ditty for ya's...
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a woman with huge breasts was out for a walk when she was jumped by a man holding a gun. when he motioned for her to take off her blouse, she warned him he'd regret it, but he insisted. next he made her take her bra off, and when a giant set of tits popped into view he began to get incredibly excited. "take your skirt off. now!!!" he demanded, ignoring her warnings that he leave off. so, off came the skirt, and then the panties, revealing an equally huge pussy, green and slimy and swarming with bugs. shocked and repelled, he stepped back and dropped the gun to the ground. grabbing the gun, the woman pointed it at him, smiled broadly, and commanded, "eat me."

[eleven11]

Bwaaaahaaaa. good one chip, look for the woman with black lips.........11

[Turbo1]

Those were good ones Chip!

[thick]

nice ones chipperelli!

[jbiggs]

A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender,

"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke ?"

The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says,

"Before you tell that joke, you should know something.The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb.blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

[jbiggs]

An obese fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a "guaranteed" weight loss program. "Guaranteed like heck, "he thinks to himself. "But let's see what they think they can do."

He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3-day, 10 lbs. weight loss program. The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike's and a sign hanging around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Well, without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through he kisses the girl one last time and thinks to himself with a nod, "I like the way this company does business."

For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure enough, he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat more slender physique, not to mention the method of "treatment", he calls the company back and subscribes to their 5-day, 20 lbs. weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their "workout" schedule might be like this time.

As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reebok's and a sign hanging around her neck. She is simply stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

He's out the door like a shot!

This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch her. But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She is wonderful, the best he has ever had. He is really looking forward to the next four days.

For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds. "I love this company," he thinks to himself, "I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun."

Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and subscribe to the company's 7-day, 50 pound weight loss program. "Are you sure, sir?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," says he, "I love your program. Haven't felt this good in years!"

The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200 pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck. He introduces himself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If I can catch you, I can have you."

[thick]

lol nice additions. I had a feeling about that last one u queer

[jbiggs]

Originally Posted by thick

lol nice additions. I had a feeling about that last one u queer

Hey I put that one in there for Chip!