No matter how much research and studying i put into this condition or the possible "solutions" to it, without experimenting it's difficult to really know what will work and what won't work.
I have access to everything now, including blood work, thyroid/adrenal testing, sources for
testosterone, armidex, hcg, etc and a great deal of knowledge.
While Role Model has been on my case a bit, he has made a valid point, rather than sit back and wait for something bad to happen i need to stand up and do something and stay focused on sticking to it. To make thing's easier on myself i will post a restart log very soon, which will give a weekly update to my progress, this will keep my meso thread count down too
It's simply not right to spend life depressed, tired, fatigued, shrunk up penis/testicles with low libido and almost complete ED.
I have no doctor's helping me here and i am fully self-medicating. I know the restrictions though and wouldn't do something stupid like pump high dosages of
testosterone into my body (for example) or use high dosages of
HCG. I am sure with the information, research, knowledge and excellent forum members here i can come up with a protocol and give it a go for 4/6 months to see how i get on.
Here is what i have already:
8x 250mg testoviron depot (schering greece)
8x
HCG 1500 + water solution (oragon)
Needles + Syringes (for both oil & water based solutions)
Silagra (4 tabs - 100mg each)
Here is my dilema. My situation is very complex, while it seem's "simple" i think allot is going on here. Basically the body seem's todo everything to protect fertility before general health, libido, etc. In my case a variocele came along and stripped me of everything. Varicocele causes abnormal swelling of the testicular veins and over-heating of the testicle, it also causes poor blood flow. Other factors like ardenal toxins, etc can all play in a role in varicocele. In fact i don't even know if the kidney/ardenals are effected by varicocele toxins, but no evidence really point's to this. Needles to say it's a complex puzzle i have here. However quite a few papers point towards HCG being a good way of restoring testicular sperm production and hormone levels after varicocele surgery. I have since had the varicocle fixed using the embolization technique however while this worked a little it didn't work 100% and there is still a sub-clinical varicocele left behind (basically one vein with some back flow). This could still be causing over-heating but not as much as before. The problem is my testicle shrunk down in size a great degree DUE to varicocele before i even got the surgery, i had all the symptoms of low
test by that point, the damage was done (so to be speak). However since being on testosterone my testicle has
shrunk further, while this might seem like a negative thing, i am looking on this positively. It mean's my testicles aren't fiboris or non-functoinal, if they can shrink, surely then can expand in size too hopefully.
Here is my theory and what believe what actually happened was my whole endocrine system was knocked out of balance. Let me explain:
1) Varicocele caused poor testicular blood flow and over-heating of the testicle. Poor blood flow means poor steriod secretion.
2) Thyroid levels were changed to sub-clinical hypothyroidism like levels to cool down body temp. This was done to keep sperm alive and production active. This might have also occured to protect my testicles?
3) Due to cooler body temp, poor blood flow to penis, scrotum and testicles took part alongside cold hands, feet and other hypothyroidism symptoms.
4) Varicocele progressed (and got worse) due to low levels of T,
DHT, E2 and low thyroid hormones, this in turn caused a GREAT deal of problems with blood flow to the testicle and sperm production.
5) Low E2 caused sperm production issues.
6) Testicular shrinkage (on a major scale) occured. Noticed skin changes on penis, scrotum and hands, feet, etc.
7) Low hormones and all the symptoms of both hypothyroid + hypogonadism.
My right testicle was already atrophied from birth but brought down early, it was assumed it still functioned (based on ultrasound exam) but never grew throughout puberty and remained hard and small. Strangly my LH/FSH were still at normal ranges of 3.9/2.1 which suggest's this testicle still functions, though will always remain small.
I am very scared to run
nolvadex or
clomid due to the potential sides. I cannot risk any further damage to my eye sight as it really is bad enough and i would worry way too much when using these drugs. This however is putting me in a kind of position where i don't know what to do next.
While the atrophy is bad i would prefer to run 250/500iu of HCG per day to reduce the E2 conversation. I could consider using armidex + HCG while doing this if E2 get's out of control.
I am not sure if testosterone is doing my thyroid any favor's right now because it
seem's to amplify the effects of hypothyroidism (more painful joints, dry skin, still low libido/ed, etc). I believe E2 fights for the same receptors as thyroid hormones, so maybe my E2 is going too high on 125mg weekly? I am thinking about switching to Bi-Weekly injections instead.
Injecting half on monday, then the next half on thursday. Maybe this would help lower E2 more and keep a better balance.
The options i see available to me are as follows:
1) 250iu HCG daily (1500iu per week). I would need to run this for a few months to regain testicular size/function. The problem is, what happens when my testicles don't respond and increase in size? Some varicocele sufferers get a "blunted" response to HCG which could cause serious problems for me as it would shutdown my HPTA for nothing. It might also raise E2 too high, armidex could control that though. I would do the injections 2 hour's before work at least (5am or so).
2) Weekly injections of 125mg
test e + HCG on day of injection and 2 day's before next injection (250iu each time - total 750iu HCG weekly). I could run this for a few months and see how i respond and if i get back testicular size. I believe HCG has positive effects on thyroid? I need to try and get my original balance of hormones back (Low TSH, High Total T, etc).
3) Bi-Weekly injections (125mg - split on monday/thursday). How would i incorporate HCG into this regime? Keep doing 100iu HCG daily?
Here is my problem...No matter what option i choose i am going to shut myself down, this might only be temporary but some supression is going to happen no matter what option i choose. I don't have any piturity issues so hopefully i would keep back into gear pretty quick. Nolva/Clomid can stop this of course but i don't want to run these drug's if i don't have too, my eye sight is bad enough and my E2 already low too. Not sure if the mood swings would be good for me either
My feeling's are running HCG alone might not be enough to raise testosterone levels high enough but i am sure HCG has positive effects on thyroid.
Could i risk any damage to the HPTA by doing the above? I was under the impression only really large BB cycles could put you at risk.
Would love the advice/opinions from others on this, it's a difficult decision to make. I want to get started by monday next week on at least one protocol.
Difficult choice to make - next move? 
Linear Mode
