need medical expertise

[maxorlov1976]

hi, i am 31 yo. benn working out for 15 years. not new to roids. this time i have been taking roids for 4 years non stop. but i did go down to 100 mg per week of test enanthate for a month and then gradual increase to 600 a week and then slow down to 100 again. when my heart starts to react on test and i have arrhythmia (not palpitation), i switch to dianabol made in thailand and start with 5 mg a day increasing every week by 5 mg per day untill i reach 20 mg a day. but anytime that happens i have to cut it short as i start feeling nasty as hell. back pumps, joints, stomach acidity that i fight with ranitidine 150 mg twice daily or omeprazole 20 mg twice daily. so dianabol never reaches even 25 mg a day. then i go to boldenone 400 a week for a month and then test again. yes, i am paranoid to stop completely as i am mentally weak and afraid to lose strength, not size. anyway, psycholoigical issues are aside this time. now i have been taking dianabol for 60 days. started with 10 mg a day and ended up with 20 . but now i got into trouble. first my heart started to create severe arrhythmia and i had to take aspirin 300 mg every 5 hours or else my knuckles go cold and i feel i can faint.... EKG showed nothing, 2D ECHO normal. it went away after a week...then i felt my lymph nodes in groin area and even lymphatic vessels on inner thigh. blood CBC normal (just to rule out leukemia). whole abdomen ultrasound normal (i got stone in right kidney 7 mm, but doesnt bother me). BUN normal.for any case too COTRIMOXOZOL for 4 weeks suspecting that it could be prostatitis.urinalysis normal. suspecting elevation of LDL started taking NICOTINIC ACID (vitamin b3) 100 mg 3 times daily. now stopped dianabol completely and the second day and generally feel way better. not losing weight, but severe sweats, sometimes fever, severe thirst.

would be really thankfull if you could help with this ... i cant go to doctor... what will i tell them? the hell with law, but they simply would be shocked by what i do to myself because of my obsession... life dedicated to 1 RM. a hope that one day, one time you would be able to lift 1 kg more than others ever done.... illusive for now, but yet a chance to waste life on something called hopeless passion.... all tests and medical experiments i done were without doctor.s directions...

do you think its time to die finally and pay for all i took?
shit.....

[Thickneck]

I am no dr by any stretch of the imagination . I would quit the dbol and aspirin . Your dbol mg's are small but WAY to long in duration . You need to go in and see a dr and I don't care what you tell him but tell him all of your symptoms . Maybe at this point you should just be totallly honest and let him take the best care of you . Is being big and stronger than 98% of the population worth 30 years or more of your life ? You need your heart checked out big time .

[Thickneck]

I just reread your post , get to the dr. What good is it to be the 1st guy to bench 1200 if your dead at 38 ? Somebody will beat it and die at 45 . It's not worth it . Wouldn't you rather be a big basterd in your 50's and 60's and have young chicks wanting to be your bitch cuz you are in better shape and bigger than guys in their 20's by far ? Jmt 's

[maxorlov1976]

as i have said i done 2d echo. it was better than the one 3 years ago. aspirin was acting as blood thinner so it helped. dianabol alreadfy out of question.... about chics... well you see, sex is a tiring thing, waste of kalories... yeah, weights better. becoming impotent do not bother me as long as i can workout. so my problem is my current condintion though. most of doctors would give loads of tests, without knowing what AAS do .

[musle mafia]

Originally Posted by maxorlov1976

as i have said i done 2d echo. it was better than the one 3 years ago. aspirin was acting as blood thinner so it helped. dianabol alreadfy out of question.... about chics... well you see, sex is a tiring thing, waste of kalories... yeah, weights better. becoming impotent do not bother me as long as i can workout. so my problem is my current condintion though. most of doctors would give loads of tests, without knowing what AAS do .

I don't believe any doctor is going to give loads of more AAS. You need to go to a doctor and be honest. What were you thinking saying on AAS that long of a time any way. That is not a safe way to do AAS YOU NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR be honest and hopefully he'll be able to help you.

[Jaack]

You refer to your "Obsession" and mental weakness a few times. Possibly you are starting to understand you have additional issues beyond AAS.

Have you had a liver test, thyroid, fasting blood sugar level, and lipids, and prostate est...?

You may want to think about starting with a psychiatrist who specializes in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and anxiety issues. A psychiatrist is also a licensed physician so they can order all the blood work you need done and all the records are confidential.

If you want to do it on your own look into getting the test at your present Dr''s and read about lithium carbonate and Paxil for anti anxiety. Lithium helps regulate mood swings, which you maybe experiencing presently, and will help regulate moods when coming off the hormones for such an extended time. Great thing about lithium carbonate and Paxil is they start working in a week or two instead of the usual weeks to months for other medications.

Regardless your choice, get a full spectrum of blood work done and a complete physical. Heart condition should be ok as you have noticed, the arrhythmia is probably a side of anxiety caused by issues with your endocrine system trying to keep up with the ups and downs that it's presently having to try and deal with.

Still bro what you wrote sounds depressed and hopeless. Again think about the Psychiatrist. they do not have to report anything about what you're doing.

[maxorlov1976]

thanks... those are really good ideas. yes, i had blood test although not full. liver ultrasound was normal 3 months ago. cbc normal. bun normal. lipid profile will do, although i currently take vitamin b3 its antihyperlipidemia. blood sugar is hard one... how can you stay hungry for 8 hours and not even water? i wake up to eat at least one banana or some bread at least 2 times during sleep. drink 2 liters while asleep... psychiatrist is not a good one... they are boring people. i take valium whenever i get my hands on it 20 to 60 mg oral or 10 to 30 mg via iv. nice kick in. what bothers me is not my mental state. but my physical condition. the mental state of the rest of the world is horrible. being impulsive is the way to live. its passion. and yes, my obsession is partially material as i opened a GYM named OBSESSION 4 years ago... force people to squat and dead lift ... nice... i propose international squat day as compulsury. haha...
seriously, i went to doc. one asked to do CT scan, another gave antibiotics for a week as infection suspected. taking now... my urologist rulled out prostate (too soon perhaps)...yes, i was on roids for long. but dosages wre more of a maintenance like 100 mg of test a week for a month or highest dianabol 25 mg (rarely even that) mostly 3 tabs of 5 mg for 2 months. and i will try lithium carbonate asap. the funny thing, no matter how i push myself, i do not get really strong actually. my results are very humble... like bench press only 310 lbs for 10 reps and 330 lbs for 6 reps... squats 540 lbs row... sad...

[hardasnails1973]

sounds to me like you wasted years trying to accompilsh nothing other then full filling your ego. I am training teenagers that had same mentality, but through counseling them and making them understand that what the long term effects are they are more conservative in there approach. I tell them taking train natural for 5-6 years before even concidering touching anything. i reinfoce through proper lifestyles, nutrition, traning and supplementation that excellent results can be achieved. Just about ever person I work with has been accused of being on steroids, but I can honestly say that they can be tested any time and test clean. It all comes down to understanding the human body, nutrition, proper training and rest not so much drugs. Yes I do trained enhance bodybuilders, and I do not condone their use, but it is by their choice, I just work with their nutrition based upon their supplementation they choice. Everything is by choice. If you want to die continue on your path, At age of 31 your life is just beginning and why did you start in the first place to get big. Did you do anything with it or was it just an ego trip to cover up your own past of being depressed so you looked to drugs as outlet. Now you ned to get your body stabilied and to get hormones back to normal naturally and stop living this fantasy life style.

You can not be superman all your life but you still can live a great life as clark kent

[Jaack]

Originally Posted by maxorlov1976

thanks... those are really good ideas. yes, i had blood test although not full. liver ultrasound was normal 3 months ago. cbc normal. bun normal. lipid profile will do, although i currently take vitamin b3 its antihyperlipidemia. blood sugar is hard one... how can you stay hungry for 8 hours and not even water? i wake up to eat at least one banana or some bread at least 2 times during sleep. drink 2 liters while asleep... psychiatrist is not a good one... they are boring people. i take valium whenever i get my hands on it 20 to 60 mg oral or 10 to 30 mg via iv. nice kick in.

Since you are having such hunger issues your nutrition is completely off as is your endocrine system. Constant carb craving is a sign of stress, which is most likely a sign of depleted seratonin and also dopamine.

Doing IV valium is not a sign of anything. Everyone does IV anything when their life is going well. I've never heard the "they're boring" excuse before for not seeking mental help. I am constantly amazed at people who will put anything in their bodies yet not seek professional help because they have some stigma.

You need to start coming to term with what you have suspected about yourself for a long time. You are having issues. That's no different than someone who needs glasses for their eyesight. You have a need go get it corrected. If the psychiatrist is that boring take a PSP.

Originally Posted by maxorlov1976

what bothers me is not my mental state. but my physical condition. the mental state of the rest of the world is horrible. being impulsive is the way to live. its passion. and yes, my obsession is partially material as i opened a GYM named OBSESSION 4 years ago... force people to squat and dead lift ... nice... i propose international squat day as compulsury. haha...
seriously, i went to doc. one asked to do CT scan, another gave antibiotics for a week as infection suspected. taking now... my urologist rulled out prostate (too soon perhaps)...yes, i was on roids for long. but dosages wre more of a maintenance like 100 mg of test a week for a month or highest dianabol 25 mg (rarely even that) mostly 3 tabs of 5 mg for 2 months. and i will try lithium carbonate asap. the funny thing, no matter how i push myself, i do not get really strong actually. my results are very humble... like bench press only 310 lbs for 10 reps and 330 lbs for 6 reps... squats 540 lbs row... sad...

Read your first post again. One where you were having a moment of honest truth with yourself and the world. Now you are ok and the world is the issue? That's the sign of addiction. You know it I know and anyone who reads these two posts of yours knows it, whether that have a personal battle or seen a family member or friend they know just from reading what you have written.

You make your own choices, but keep this up and one day you may wish you had sought professional help when you are laying in a hospital bed. Getting help will make you more of a man, not less.

If you had cancer of the liver would you not try and get it corrected or get a transplant? In a sense you have a cancer that is eating away at your life.

And I second this

Originally Posted by hardasnails1973

Everything is by choice. If you want to die continue on your path, At age of 31 your life is just beginning and why did you start in the first place to get big. Did you do anything with it or was it just an ego trip to cover up your own past of being depressed so you looked to drugs as outlet. Now you ned to get your body stabilied and to get hormones back to normal naturally and stop living this fantasy life style.

[maxorlov1976]

well issues or not it can be argued about. i have met people in my life that actually think that god exists, they dont seek mental help, although they should have. others think that carrer is important and waste years working for one company trying to get promoted year by year. those people not even considered to be disturbed, strangely. yes, i am addicted to certain things just like others addicted to taking shower. now what psychiatrist has to offer? brain wash others and make them family and career oriented? i dont want to be one othose. so why did i spend so many years in gym,. its not ego, not for ladies either. its an escape from the rest of the world. steroids freeze my mind. thats why i kept takeing even low doses. just to keep my mind frozen. it is denial. dfenial of the world. my issue is simple. i do not see point in life, on top of all i do not like being constricted by laws and morals. its very boring. yes, my health is bad. but if i think of it, what life is it without roids? its existance.....

ps. i went to doc. he gave some antibiotics. will have my lymph nodes biopsy done this week. if its not cancer, i will jusmp on testo 1000 mg a week.. to celebrate it. if it is, then chemotherapy with testo trying not to lose all the weight. i also train others. some take roids some dont. i dont insist on taking them. but there is sport without drugs. its impossible. years ago whan i was 19 i used to workout with mr.Cyprus and other competeing bodybuilders. they load themselves brutally. nobody is clean. as of suppliments, they are way more expensive than roids. i could never afford one. 4 lbs of whey isolate cost as much as 4 vials of test 1000 mg each. wich one would last longer and wich one is more value for money in terms of results?

[maxorlov1976]

i will tell you why i started getting obsessed with size and strength. that was only one thing i enjoyed in life.......... gym is where i feel at home. its an escape from madness. (although gym is a madness by itself)

[Jaack]

Originally Posted by maxorlov1976

hi, i am 31 yo. benn working out for 15 years. not new to roids.
would be really thankfull if you could help with this ... i cant go to doctor... what will i tell them? the hell with law, but they simply would be shocked by what i do to myself because of my obsession... life dedicated to 1 RM. a hope that one day, one time you would be able to lift 1 kg more than others ever done.... illusive for now, but yet a chance to waste life on something called hopeless passion.... all tests and medical experiments i done were without doctor.s directions...

do you think its time to die finally and pay for all i took?
shit.....

Make up your own mind. Good Luck

[maxorlov1976]

i wanted to ask for medical advice. psychiatrist is for mentally ill people like priests.

[Jaack]

Originally Posted by maxorlov1976

i wanted to ask for medical advice. psychiatrist is for mentally ill people like priests.

Bud, I'm sorry you have the misconceptions you have about mental health.

If you take what you wrote originally to a Dr. you will hear the same thing I wrote.

Best thing will be to find a Dr. you are comfortable with and tell them the honest truth. They are not going to be able to guess what's going on with a misleading presentation.

[maxorlov1976]

yes. i went to doc and will have CT scan tomorrow. i wont see psychiatrist though. there is no such thing as normal or not normal when it comes to mental state. all relative

[Jaack]

Originally Posted by maxorlov1976

yes. i went to doc and will have CT scan tomorrow. i wont see psychiatrist though. there is no such thing as normal or not normal when it comes to mental state. all relative

Ok.

Bro I'm glad to hear you are getting the scan. I hope all works out well.

[nd1024]

My first post, so here it goes. I do work in the medical field, ER nuse for 6 years, lab tech for 5 years, and for the last 6 years, I have worked as an RT. I also work in reseach and developement at a big medical clinic, and am involved in a study right now that is a randomized, double-blind placebo-controlled, dose ranging study to examine the safety tolerability and effect on body weight of Metreleptin administered in conjunction with Pramlintide in obese and over weight subjects. I love my job.
Anyways, some of the responses you recieved to your questions, especially the response telling you to stop with the Dbol is sound advice. Dbol for long periods of time will turn your live into a hardened piece of possibly necrotic organ that will not function the way its meant to, and or destroy it all together. We all know dbol is meant for kickstarting a cycle, no more than 6 weeks at anywhere from 25 to 45mg a day.
You have some serious issues my friend and sounds like you should go talk to your doctor. All those years on AAS without a break and/or proer PCT has done some damage to your endocrine system, and obviously on you psychy. Your doctor is bound by law to not talk to the police in regards to your use, or actuall\y abuse it sounds like, of steroids. You need a break man. You are to young to be doing this to yourself. Hell, any age is not good for what you are doing. Get off the AAS comepletely for awhile, like several weeks, go see your doctor and have bloodwork done, tell him what you have been doing, and he will take from there and determine what to do with you after he gets your bloodwork back. You will probably be referred to an endocrinologist as I can imagine that you hormones will be out of whack. Just MHO

Originally Posted by maxorlov1976

hi, i am 31 yo. benn working out for 15 years. not new to roids. this time i have been taking roids for 4 years non stop. but i did go down to 100 mg per week of test enanthate for a month and then gradual increase to 600 a week and then slow down to 100 again. when my heart starts to react on test and i have arrhythmia (not palpitation), i switch to dianabol made in thailand and start with 5 mg a day increasing every week by 5 mg per day untill i reach 20 mg a day. but anytime that happens i have to cut it short as i start feeling nasty as hell. back pumps, joints, stomach acidity that i fight with ranitidine 150 mg twice daily or omeprazole 20 mg twice daily. so dianabol never reaches even 25 mg a day. then i go to boldenone 400 a week for a month and then test again. yes, i am paranoid to stop completely as i am mentally weak and afraid to lose strength, not size. anyway, psycholoigical issues are aside this time. now i have been taking dianabol for 60 days. started with 10 mg a day and ended up with 20 . but now i got into trouble. first my heart started to create severe arrhythmia and i had to take aspirin 300 mg every 5 hours or else my knuckles go cold and i feel i can faint.... EKG showed nothing, 2D ECHO normal. it went away after a week...then i felt my lymph nodes in groin area and even lymphatic vessels on inner thigh. blood CBC normal (just to rule out leukemia). whole abdomen ultrasound normal (i got stone in right kidney 7 mm, but doesnt bother me). BUN normal.for any case too COTRIMOXOZOL for 4 weeks suspecting that it could be prostatitis.urinalysis normal. suspecting elevation of LDL started taking NICOTINIC ACID (vitamin b3) 100 mg 3 times daily. now stopped dianabol completely and the second day and generally feel way better. not losing weight, but severe sweats, sometimes fever, severe thirst.

would be really thankfull if you could help with this ... i cant go to doctor... what will i tell them? the hell with law, but they simply would be shocked by what i do to myself because of my obsession... life dedicated to 1 RM. a hope that one day, one time you would be able to lift 1 kg more than others ever done.... illusive for now, but yet a chance to waste life on something called hopeless passion.... all tests and medical experiments i done were without doctor.s directions...

do you think its time to die finally and pay for all i took?
shit.....

[maxorlov1976]

thanks. actually i had 3 lymph nodes from my groin removed a day ago for biopsy. when they removed it it was white inside. so lets wait what pathologist has to say. and yes, i am off drugs for 2 weeks now or more. just some valium. nice kick in

[Jaack]

Sorry for the delay.

I hope everything is well and it all works out.